It's been another month!  We are almost over with the first trimester and everyone will be able to breathe a little bit easier. 

We did go in for our ultrasound on August 21st.  The sonographer assured me that there was only ONE little one growing.  She measured "Thing 2" and all was good. 
Measurements:  7 weeks 1 day
Heartbeat:  138 bpm

Today, I am 9 weeks 5 days pregnant.  My nausea is getting better, partially because I am eating frequently.  This has definitely helped!  I've also been craving tomatoes!  Luckily, right now many of my friends have an over abundance of cherry tomatoes in their gardens!  Last night, while coaching roller derby, I ate over 50 cherry tomatoes!  YUM!
I'm not sure if that is a 'sign' for anything - but we could hope for ginger hair!

Next appointment:  September 27 (12 weeks 2 days) for more blood tests, regular check-up and another ultrasound.

Finally, the last BETA result came in today!  All four of them have been wonderful numbers and it leaves me wondering if you are going to have two siblings!

11dp3dt  199
13dp3dt  502
16dp3dt  2027
18dp3dt  4594

These are amazing numbers compared to Alexandre's so that's why I keep thinking twins.
As for morning sickness and such, I've definitely been more hungry and tired.  I have felt some pressure down below, tingling in 'fun' places, and have had a few headaches.  I'm guessing the headaches are part of the hormonal changes.  Also, I've been having crazy, vivid dreams.  Wednesday, August 7, the last day for my BETA, I woke up because I was dreaming of twin girls!  Your family, Alexandre, with two little girls would have so much fun!  I just know you will be the best big brother ever.

Our next step will be August 21st.  We will have the very first ultrasound.  Here's to growing the appleseed(s)!

Since October of last year, so much has happened to your family.  The transfer we were all so excited and anxious about was successful!  We had positive pregnancy tests and a good BETA number that continued to double as it should.  Then, on one Friday afternoon I started to feel different and had tiny twinges of discomfort in my lower abdomen.  Later that evening I knew something had changed with the pregnancy.  I rested in bed and called our nurse, Heidi.  She instructed me to stay on bed rest for the weekend and to continue all medications.  Late that evening I knew in my heart the pregnancy was over.  I knew and all I could think about was your dads.  How was I going to tell them?

The next day came and I was feeling better.  The signs of pregnancy loss had diminished but I continued to stay on bed rest.  On Sunday, everything changed again and I went to the emergency room where they performed a BETA test along with an ultrasound.  Sadly, both tests confirmed what I already knew in my heart.  This pregnancy was over.

Of course this left me with a terrible empty feeling.  I couldn't reach out to your dads because they lived so far away.  Also, I wasn't sure if they would blame me for the loss.  I was very worried they would be upset with me.  My worries were subdued after multiple emails from them.

They decided to take a month off, since it was holiday season before deciding if they should try again for a sibling.  If they decided yes, it would be a completely different process then the transfer in October 2012.  They would need a new egg donor.  This meant finding her and working out a contract, which inevitably put me, the gestational surrogate, "on hold". 

I was extremely excited when I learned in 2013 they were searching for their new egg donor!  We were hopeful for a summer transfer!

And that brings us to today...

Alexandre...
I watch you grow up through all the pictures and videos your dads email to me.  I am amazed at how quickly you've grown and so proud of you!  You appear to be a very bright, young man!  I believe you will be a big brother very soon!

We, the egg donor and I, have started the process for our July transfer.  We should know early August if this transfer is positive!

Less than 72 hours

It's less than seventy-two hours before two perfect little embryos will be implanted in me, your birth mother.  Your fathers are so happy to have you, Alexandre, that they've chosen me as the birth mother of your little sister or little brother.  We are all hopeful that one of the embryos will implant during the first week of November and it will grow into a healthy sibling.  The joy that you've given them is priceless!

As we get closer to the transfer date, I get a little more nervous.  I'm not nervous to become pregnant again, but nervous that everything will not go as smoothly as it did with you.  Becoming pregnant with you in April 2011 was so easy - it took the first try!  We had an early positive pregnancy test, positive BETA tests that continued to rise, and then an ultrasound that showed your amazing heart beating.  Everything so far has gone well, so there is no reason to feel this won't work, but it still worries me. 

Although I do not get to see you or your parents, I am so fortunate to be a part of the journey.  My heart is full of love for all of you and my hope is next summer you will all visit Iowa again to welcome the newest addition to your family.

Much love little A...

~j