Monday, June 24, 2013

Since October of last year, so much has happened to your family.  The transfer we were all so excited and anxious about was successful!  We had positive pregnancy tests and a good BETA number that continued to double as it should.  Then, on one Friday afternoon I started to feel different and had tiny twinges of discomfort in my lower abdomen.  Later that evening I knew something had changed with the pregnancy.  I rested in bed and called our nurse, Heidi.  She instructed me to stay on bed rest for the weekend and to continue all medications.  Late that evening I knew in my heart the pregnancy was over.  I knew and all I could think about was your dads.  How was I going to tell them?

The next day came and I was feeling better.  The signs of pregnancy loss had diminished but I continued to stay on bed rest.  On Sunday, everything changed again and I went to the emergency room where they performed a BETA test along with an ultrasound.  Sadly, both tests confirmed what I already knew in my heart.  This pregnancy was over.

Of course this left me with a terrible empty feeling.  I couldn't reach out to your dads because they lived so far away.  Also, I wasn't sure if they would blame me for the loss.  I was very worried they would be upset with me.  My worries were subdued after multiple emails from them.

They decided to take a month off, since it was holiday season before deciding if they should try again for a sibling.  If they decided yes, it would be a completely different process then the transfer in October 2012.  They would need a new egg donor.  This meant finding her and working out a contract, which inevitably put me, the gestational surrogate, "on hold". 

I was extremely excited when I learned in 2013 they were searching for their new egg donor!  We were hopeful for a summer transfer!

And that brings us to today...

Alexandre...
I watch you grow up through all the pictures and videos your dads email to me.  I am amazed at how quickly you've grown and so proud of you!  You appear to be a very bright, young man!  I believe you will be a big brother very soon!

We, the egg donor and I, have started the process for our July transfer.  We should know early August if this transfer is positive!


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